


Loner (Until I Met You.)

by Romansleftshoulderpad



Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Background Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders and Morality | Patton Sanders, Background Relationships, Established Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, I wrote this before Remus was introduced, M/M, Thanks for ruining my headcanon Mr. Dukey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:27:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22151767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romansleftshoulderpad/pseuds/Romansleftshoulderpad
Summary: Emile falls for one of his best friends.
Relationships: Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	Loner (Until I Met You.)

It wasn’t that Emile didn’t have friends- quite the opposite in fact! He just didn’t have many _close_ friends. He could easily drift from group to group, feigning contentment in not understanding inside jokes, and being happy just in the moment. Though, he did also cherish his time alone. He liked being in the peace and quiet, and being alone seemed to make a good excuse for being lonely.

Then, he met Remy. Remus Liam Star was unlike anyone Emile Picani had ever met in his life. He was loud, boisterous, and sarcastic beyond belief. He held up a stoic façade and pretended to care only for himself, but as soon as one of his friends was in trouble, he showed that he was protective and that he cared with his whole heart.

So maybe that’s why, on this rainy March day, Emile invited Remy to be alone with him stargazing tonight. The grass smelled of that morning’s rain and there was nary a cloud in the sky to block their perfect view. “Do you believe in true love, Remus?”

He heard Remy take a deep breath as if his words were waiting to be ingested as they float among the cold air. “I think I’m starting to.”

Emile took a sharp inhale as his heart rate picked up in his chest. “Me too,” he whispered. He knew very well the magical feeling in his chest and the sickly feeling in his gut. He was getting his hopes up atop the highest skyscraper while his heart sank deep, deeper, and deeply into a dark abyss for the man sitting laying next to him.

“Bet he’s a lucky guy,” Remy said.

“I guess,” Emile said.

“Hey, Em, listen to me.” Remy was sitting up, his face hovering inches above Emile’s. “You are so fucking wonderful, okay? Don’t you doubt that for a damn second.” His eyes were fiery and intense, but it was his lips that Emile’s gaze was glued to. “Any guy would be lucky to have even two seconds of your time or a fraction of your love and- oh shit! Are you crying? Did I say something wrong?”

Emile shook his head with a smile, tugging on Remy’s jacket as he sat up and pulled the other into a hug. “Thank you, Remus. That means a lot.”

Remy melted under the touch but would never admit it outside of that moment. It was awkward at first, but when his hands finally found their places on Emile’s upper back, they were both content to just exist in the starlight against the score of crickets and streetlights.

The next few weeks passed wordlessly and Emile couldn’t stop his heart from sinking deeper and deeper, faster and faster, until there was no hope of it coming back to the light. Remy fazed in and out of relationships- none of them serious, but it broke Emile’s heart anyway. It was a rainy day in mid-April the next time they were alone together. There were alone together in what was lazily called a ‘Sun Room’ as the wind gently splashed their legs. Emile pulled his legs close to his chest in an effort to stay dry on the old wicker couch.

“So, Em,” Remy said, stretching out his arms in front of him. “Why haven’t you dated anyone this year?”

Emile shrugged, exhaling into his mug as he took a sip, hoping that the fog on his glasses would hide the panic in his eyes. “Haven’t been asked,” he said, “haven’t asked anyone else.”

“What about that guy from March?” Remy asked. “Oh, let me guess, he’s actually a total asshole and you’ve moved on.”

“Remus,” Emile said with a laugh, his words dying on his tongue, “no. He, uh, he’s not an asshole.”

Remy looked to Emile with a raised eyebrow and curiosity in his eyes. “Why don’t you ask him out, then?”

Emile kept his eyes on his knees. “The timing is never right.”

“Timing is a sorry excuse,” he teased. “Sometimes you have to take risks.”

If Emile were any braver, he would have made a move right then and there. He would have put down his mug, pulled Remy by the jacket, and he would have kissed him absolutely senseless. They’d break for air and Emile would spill out everything he had been hiding for the past two months. If he were lucky, Remy would have confessed that none of his past relationships worked because he was too hung up on Emile and no one else could ever suffice. However, Emile was not lucky, not brave, and failing to keep to the hem of his pants dry. He tucked his legs under his knees and took one final sip of his drink. “Can we change the subject, please?”

“Em,” Remy said quietly, trying to figuring out what he said wrong.

“Remus, please. Just change the subject.”

Remy turned his head away from Emile as his eyes grew focused on a dying porch light. “I’m gonna be single next Saturday.”

“You finally got bored with him?” Emile teased.

Remy was silent for a beat and now Emile was worried he had spoken out of turn. “Among other things, yeah. We just… didn’t click well. It’s just not gonna work out. Why delay the inevitable?”

“If the breakup is inevitable, why start the relationship in the first place?”

“Because it’s worth it to try,” he said, the air between them was cold and began to still. The storm was finally about to end. “Starting a relationship is, well, it’s a test of compatibility, I guess.”

“Roman always seems to say the opposite,” Emile said. “He says that… if you’re compatible as friends, and you both share the same feelings, a relationship is just… a change in boundaries.”

Remy let out a sign and chuckled. “That’s because Roman actually _likes_ the guys he dates.”

Emile spent the rest of the night trying to figure out what that statement meant. He never got an answer. He tried to brush it off but it always stayed quizzically in the back of his mind.

“I am SO DONE with artists,” Remy announced, slamming his head against the old picnic table as he sat down. The group stayed in touch by taking turns organizing little get-togethers- usually a brunch, or dinner party when Logan was feeling particularly bold- and talking about life. Of course, they all had moments where they hung out as fractions and fragments of their group, but the get-togethers were tradition and none of them would trade them for the world.

“Excuse you,” Roman said with a rather offended gasp.

“Not _you_ kind of artists but,” Remy fumbled with his hands as he tried to think of the words before just digging his hands through his hair, “UGH!”

“Tough breakup?” Virgil asked.

“Percy is such a picky asshole.”

“Remus-“

“ _Remy._ ” There was a beat of silence. “Only Em gets to call me ‘Remus’,” he muttered under his breath.

Logan cleared his throat. “Remy,” he said, “perhaps it would be best to take more time before entering these, uh, _flings_ head first. I’d even go so far as to recommend advice from Roman.”

“Well that’s definitely a first,” Virgil teased, poking his boyfriend’s side.

“I’m not sure I’m equipped at the moment.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Roman sighed, keeping his eyes low on the ground. “I uh,” mumbled an embarrassed (but would never admit it) Roman, “I’m having problems trying to confess to my own crush.”

“Aww, Roman,” Patton said. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“He’d be a fool not to at least give you a chance,” Emile said with an encouraging smile. From the side of his eye, he could see Remy give him a glance that was nearly impossible to read through his dark sunglasses.

“Uh, yeah, you’ll do fine, Roman,” Remy said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, Babes, I got an iced green tea that’s just calling my name from the nearest Starbucks.”

“Tired of us already?” Virgil teased.

Remy rolled his eyes with a laugh. “Without caffeine? Yes.”

Roman sighed, clicking his tongue disapprovingly as he shook his head. “I doubt he’ll ever change.”

“You never know,” Virgil said with a shrug, his voice low as everyone looked to him. No one pressed him for an explanation. No one needed to.

It was a bit of a shock when, later that night, Emile had received a phone call from Roman rather out of the blue. “Hey, is it okay if I come over?” Roman asked before either had a chance to say hello.

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure,” Emile said. “I’m just cleaning some things up.”

“Perfect! Because I’m in your driveway.” Three beeps signaled that Roman had hung up already.

Emile sighed, putting his phone in his pocket and trying to speed-walk across the house to open the door. “Roman, is there ever a time when you’ll give me more than a five-minute warning before your arrival?”

“Emile, darling, would I be here on such short notice if it weren’t absolutely necessary?”

“Yes, Roman, yes you would be.”

Roman rolled his eyes and leaned his hip against the doorframe. “I need your help. Can I come in or not?”

“Yeah, come in, come in,” Emile said. “What did you need help with?”

“Patton,” Roman mumbled, falling dramatically across Emile’s couch.

“What about Patton?”

Roman rolled his eyes. “Oh wipe that smug little grin off of your face; you’ve been spending far too much time with Remy.”

“Answer the question, Roman.”

“He’s too wonderful!” Roman exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air. “His smile could light all of Times Square! His freckles are tiny kisses that the sun has left upon his face! And his _body-_ ”

“I’m gonna stop you right there,” Emile said. “Stop. Go to jail. Do not pass ‘Go’ and do not collect two hundred dollars.”

Roman smirked as he sat up. “Emile, my dear and wonderful friend, you must help me in winning over Patton’s affections! Wait- who the hell are you calling?”

“Virgil. I am _definitely_ not equipped to help with this alone.”

A couple of phone calls, a few minutes of waiting, and one brewed pot of coffee later, Roman, Virgil, Remy, and Emile were all scheming on the living room floor with all the furniture pushed away towards the walls as they sit on a macrame rug.

“Hey, why don’t you just, I don’t fucking know, ask him in a date? Like a normal person?” Virgil asked. “With _no_ fireworks or ostriches!”

“Oh, please, like that would ever work.”

Virgil’s face fell into his hands with a groan. “Of _course_ it would work! It’s fucking _Patton!_ ”

“Exactly! And Patton deserves the absolute greatest and most spectacular extravaganza that anyone could ask for!”

“Holy shit,” Virgil groaned before retaliating with a more solid argument.

Remy nudged his shoulder against Emile’s and brought his lips dangerously close to Emile’s ear; his breath against the other’s neck caused Emile to fight back a chill. “Why don’t we make another pot of coffee and let these two settle their bitch fight?”

Emile silently nodded and let Remy lead him into the kitchen by the hand. He tightened his grip around Remy’s fingers as that feeling came back to him. His hopes were as high, higher, and highest as they could be, and his heart stayed warm through the ice of the deep, dark, blackened, and lifeless sea. He was being torn apart, and he ~~needed~~ wanted Remy to keep him stable in the middle ground. He wanted Remy to grab him by the tie and kiss him but, no, that would never happen. He needed to come back to reality. He hadn’t even noticed when Remy let go of his hand.

Remy hoisted himself onto the counter, swinging his legs back and forth. Roman and Virgil’s bickering had become muffled background noise, but it showed no sign of stopping. “It’s always a party with those two, huh?”

Emile forced out an awkward laugh. “It is, isn’t it?”

“If you ask me,” Remy said, “Roman doesn’t even need some extravagant speech. Just catch him alone under the moonlight and kiss him senseless, ya know?”

“Maybe if this were a fanfic,” Emile teased. “But this is real life. You can’t just kiss people without asking.”

“Fair point.”

The bickering had quieted down and, for a few moments, everything was completely silent. Remy and Emile were caught staring in each other’s eyes. It was quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Seconds felt like minutes felt like hours felt like years. It was late April.

“We should, uh, we should check on the others.”

“Yeah. You’re right.”

It was the middle of May. Roman was having the gang- and a few other friends- over for an End of Spring Pool Party. Roman had promised to tell Patton how he felt before the end of the night. Virgil had bet Remy five bucks that he would bail.

Emile has never been one for swimming- at least not around strangers- so he had confessed that he’d be content to sit by the pool and watch. It was perhaps the most casual any of them had seen him- khaki shorts with a flowery button down and a regular pair of brown boat shoes.

“Wow, Em, you dress down nice,” Remy said with a wink. There were a few hours to sunset. Really, the party was only starting.

“Thank you, Remus,” Emile said with a smile and flushed cheeks.

“Quit flirting and ask Roman where he keeps the spare firewood!” Virgil yelled from the other end of the pool, poking at an unlit fireplace.

“Keep flirting, I’ll talk to Roman,” Logan teased as he passed by them and Emile was sure that his blush would give him away as he looked only to the ground. If he were to look up he would have noticed Remy looking to the sky with a face that was red from embarrassment.

“I should, uh, probably go get changed,” Remy said, patting a drawstring bag on his side. “Keep an eye on Roman while I’m gone. I’m really looking forward to those five bucks that Virge is gonna owe me.”

“Whatever you say, Remus,” Emile said with a laugh. He looked towards the sun as Remy headed inside. The orange sky had melted into pinks, purples, blues, and a lightless black littered with stars before his very eyes. The party was loud and alive with music blasting, conversation from everywhere in the yard, and any type of outdoor lighting that Roman could buy for under five dollars a piece. Emile was content to sip on fruit punch and watch from a distance.

“Hey, Emile,” Virgil said, swimming up to the side of the pool. “Have you seen Logan?”

“I think he went inside to go get some snacks.”

“Damnit, would you wind going inside and getting him for me? I need him to help me kick Seth and Toby’s asses in a chicken fight.”

“Sure thing!” Emile said. He put his drink down on the table next to him before snaking his way through crowds of people. As he got closer to the kitchen he felt himself gasping for air. He didn’t even know these many people could fit in one house!

“Em!” Remy whispered, gesturing for Emile to come closer. “You gotta see this.”

The two peaked behind a wall that leads to the dining room, where Roman had Patton pinned against the dining room table as they both kissed roughly as if nothing else mattered. “Eww,” Emile said under his breath as he turned away from the wall to give them their privacy, as well as to try to remove the image from his brain. 

“I know right?” Remy laughed as he snapped a picture and texted it to whom Emile could only assume was Virgil. “I can’t wait to get those five bucks.”

It was the first real look that Emile had gotten of Remy that night. His sunglasses were pushed on top of his head, holding back his hair, and he still wore his black jacket (open) over his bare chest. With his plain black swim trunks, it all somehow looked like an actual _outfit_ , as ridiculous as that sounds. “I should probably find Logan,” Emile admitted. “Virgil sent me in here to find him.”

“That nerd? I sent him out a bit ago to go entertain his boyfriend. I’m sure they’ve found each other already.”

Emile let out a relieved sigh and smiled at Remy. “Thanks then.”

“Anything for you, Em,” he replied with a wink. Emile was lost beyond belief but he finally felt stable, level, and found all at once. “Why don’t we go get some fresh air?”

“I’d like that,” Emile confessed, lightly wrapping his fingers around Remy’s. They walked to the pool deck together, taking in the cool spring air and enjoying the laughter of their friends and acquaintances. Emile had let go of Remy’s hand in preparation to retrieve the drink that he had previously left unattended. However, with the dim lights and his lack of focus, it was rather impossible for Emile to see the upcoming events to unfold in front of him. He lost his footing as he walked closer to the pool. He slipped, falling backwards in what would play in his memories as slow motion.

_“EMILE!”_ Remy yelled as he quickly threw off his jacket and sunglasses, diving into the pool after him. He wrapped an arm around Emile and swam to the surface, the older of the two coughing and spitting up pool water.

“Remus, you,-”

“Shh, you’re okay,” Remy said.

“My glasses,” Emile mumbled, his voice too strained and weak to properly talk. “I need my glasses.”

“Can you keep yourself afloat while I get them for you?” Emile bit his lip and nodded, kicking his legs back and forth as Remy let go of him. Remy’s vision swept across the pool floor until he saw the tortoiseshell frames laying a few feet away. He took a big gulp of air before diving down towards them, opening his eyes once he was beneath the surface.

His vision was foggy under the chlorine and his eyes felt instantly weaker. The glasses now looked more like a brown blob and he tried to grab them as quickly as bubbles of his own air tickled his face. He grabbed one of the sides of the frame and swam to the surface just before running out of air. “Guess you really leave me breathless, huh?” Remy teased as he swam up to Emile, who was sitting on the concrete by the side of the pool, soaking wet and looking lost. Remy pulled himself up and carefully slid the glasses onto Emile’s face. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly.

“Remus, you saved me,” Emile mumbled.

“Oh, I, uh, anyone else would have done the same thing. I just, you know, did it first.”

“Well, thank you,” Emile said with a gentle smile that took Remy’s breath away.

“We should get you over to the fire. You’ll dry off a lot faster.” He was able to grab his towel and wrap it around Emile’s shoulders as they walked towards the fire, though with Emile’s blush, the elder was sure that he’d be dry way before they even came near the fireplace.

It was a cool night in May and no one else mattered. The warmth and light of the crackling fire felt wonderful against cold and soaking skin. Remy sat back against the bench, his knee and thigh resting against Emile’s.

“So,” Emile said quietly, “you’ve been single since April. Must be a new record.”

“Heh, uh, yeah,” Remy said through a forced laugh. “I finally took some advice from Roman.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I decided that I actually want to _like_ the guy I date.” His words were spoken carefully and backed by tension, but his body relaxed, letting his arms and shoulders fall against Emile. “And I uh, really like this guy. Guess the next step is to date him.”

“He must be a lucky guy,” Emile said.

“I’d consider myself the lucky one,” Remy said, his words slow and barely above a whisper, “if you’ll have me.”

Emile turned towards Remy, gazing at him silently with awestruck eyes. He placed his hands on Remy’s face and neck, pulling him forwards and locking their lips in the middle. It was soft and sweet as Remy melted into it. He pulled Emile closer by the hips and began to kiss more roughly, devouring the other as if he needed him the way someone atop Mount Everest needs oxygen. 

They broke apart to the sound of Virgil wolf whistling. He laughed as Roman grumpily handed him crumpled up dollar bills, before handing half of them over to Remy. “Luck be a lady tonight,” Virgil yelled, pocketing the rest of the money.

“Yeah, well I still won the bet on Roman!” Remy retaliated, unsure of how to react with all of their friends watching them.

“Which was _exactly_ why I charged Roman extra on the bet on you,” Virgil said with a smirk. “I had my doubts on him ‘fessing up, but you two? It had to happen sooner or later.”

“Girl, you are the worst,” Remy said with a glare.

“So I’ve been told,” Virgil said with a smirk.

Remy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can do this with or without an audience.” Without a second of hesitation, he took Emile’s jaw in his hand and pulled him forward, resuming their previous kiss.

Emile’s face was bright red with embarrassment from his friends teasingly clapping and howling, but he returned the gesture with one of his own before melting into the kiss as if the rest of the world had melted with him. He finally had people who cared for him- actually, _genuinely cared_ for him. He had a place in the world, and above all, he had Remy. He smiled into the kiss as he finally reached his happy ending.


End file.
